My wife had taken our three-year-old grocery shopping, the baby was napping, and the other children had joined our backyard adventures. In short, all was going well.
After some time I heard the baby fussing and went inside to rescue her. Since she wanted to be held, I opted to sit with her just inside the doorway where I could keep an eye on the kids and read my wife's latest blog post, A Memoir in NUM8ER5.
This was important to me as the elapsed time between when she posts and my reading them is inversely proportionate to the number of husband points I earn for complimenting her on her wit and domestic prowess.
But I digress.
As I sat reading, my oldest ran in to use the restroom. I heard him washing his hands afterward and didn't think much of it. After a few minutes of listening to the water, it hit me. He doesn't like having to wash his hands after using the bathroom and usually completes the procedure very quickly. In fact, he seldom washes his hands without having to be reminded... and I hadn't reminded him. Come to think of it, the water sounds I had heard hadn't been running water, it was sloshing water. Oh no.
Quick glance outside -- Count the kids -- ONE, TWO, THREE, F... Crap. Number four was my oldest. Who was in the bathroom then? Who wasn't outside?
There was only one toddler outside.
Instantly I knew what was happening. I set the baby down in her car seat and bolted for the bathroom. Instantly my fears were confirmed. I found one smiling toddler drenched from head to foot standing in the middle of a large smelly puddle, happily splashing in the unflushed toilet.
Remember those husband points I referred to earlier? Well guys, let me tell you, letting your toddler submerge himself in watered-down urine while your wife is shopping isn't the best way to go about earning them.
[Imagine a picture me scrubbing the bathroom like mad here]
Sooooooo... Honey, my Beautiful Bride, my Eternal Companion (who is just finding out about our little escapade as she reads this), how about that clean bathroom! :)