"You know you have young children at Christmas when..."
10. Your tree is barren on the bottom and heavily decorated on top
9. The beautiful glass orbs that decorated your tree last year are quickly being replaced by popsicle stick artwork and crayon-abused, glitter-covered paper discs with a picture of the smiling artist glued to the center
8. The only gifts you dare put under the tree before Christmas morning are wrapped in an impenetrable tungsten carbide wrapping paper you were lucky enough to pick up at Wal-Mart last year before the product was recalled back to China
7. You have added "A sizable helping of sanity" to your Christmas wish list
6. You frequently find yourself "gently" reminding the mischievous elves scurrying about your home that Santa knows when they are sleeping, he knows when they are awake, and he knows when they smear toothpaste all over the sink, walls, floor, and ceiling?! of the bathroom
5. Everyone in your home knows by heart what Santa puts in naughty kids' stockings
4. You have seriously considered contributing a new example of the definition of "infinity" to Wikipedia as, "The number of times your child can ask 'how many more days until Christmas?' before tiring"
3. You have made it a personal quest this year to find a gift for the youngest ones that will be more enticing than the box it is wrapped in
2. You feel a little dumb Googling "is it possible to overdose on sugar" but are then both comforted and a little appalled to see there are about 2,400,000 results
1. Christmas has been canceled and reinstated multiple times... in the last 24 hours
Merry Christmas!
